different children, different needs, take II

  • Posted by Kristy on August 19th, 2008 filed in the fam

ok, so i promised more of my book review. the book is Different Children, Different Needs by Charles F. Boyd.  it’s been a week or two since i finished it so the details are a little foggy, but some of it stuck. i think what impressed me most about this book is the positive nature, the desire for parents to really get to know their kids and what makes them tick—how they work. and it helped me sort out personality quirks and recognize that things in myself that i’ve seen as faults, can be used for good, not evil. turns out i am fast paced (hard to imagine, huh?) and people oriented; although i have some task-oriented qualities that are pretty strong depending on the situation. i remember as a child asking my parents, “what are we going to do today?” to which my Daddy would promptly respond, “well, i guess we’re gonna sit around and look at each other!” much to my dismay, especially on sunday afternoon. i mean, come on, there’s people to see, things to do, let’s get moving. what’s next? that is my basic approach to daily life. it never really occurred to me that others aren’t wired that way, much less my husband and eldest daughter. but they’re not. i can see now how crazy it must make them that i have to constantly be in motion. comatose or in motion, those seem to be my two speeds.

another thing i loved about this book is that it gave practical tips for each parenting style paired with each child style. take for example, the interactive parenting style and the conscientious child. it gives a page of really specific information for each pairing. in this case, one of the strengths are that the child can learn to not take things so seriously and have some fun. the adult can learn to think things through more analytically. one of the struggles is that “because you are so verbal, you may miss the child’s more indirect way of sharing concerns.” and then there’s a list of strategies, like “Don’t expect him to be a risk taker. Accept his cautious nature.”

another cool thing is that the author highlights aspects of God that demonstrate each of the behavioral/parenting styles. Here’s one: “No passage of scripture pictures God as a supportive parent more than Ps. 23. This familiar Psalm expresses the calm and peaceful relationship that God leads us into.”

I found each of the many ideas helpful and thought provoking. and I like that it’s stuff that can be put into practice immediately. you don’t have a twelve step training or anything. It’s fun to read, great practical advice for parenting.

overall, i give this parenting manual an A. job well done, Mr. Boyd!



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