half-tied ribbons

different children, different needs

• Posted by Kristy on August 6th, 2008 filed in faith walking

just so you know, i lay awake in bed some nights and go over and over what i could write, say, or blog. it sounds so great in my head, coming out in nice, coherent, meaningful sentences. this is when i talk to people, talk to God, play out conversations that should have been. but then, when i have the opportunity to actually get it out somewhere else (my blog, a REAL conversation, a letter or email) it just isn’t the same. it’s like i need a brain recorder. also, just so you know, that doesn’t happen very often. at least not the lying in bed awake part. in fact, mike ribs me constantly for falling asleep mid sentence to him, or when he’s just asked me something really important, when there’s decisions to be made, things to talk about. i don’t normally have trouble going to sleep, i’m my father’s girl.

but boy, when i first started reading Different Children, Different Needs by Charles F. Boyd, i had trouble sleeping. see, i’ve always been a little too much on the self-analytical side. so give me a book about human psyche and personality and i’m on the thought train. the train that doesn’t know when it’s time to pull into the station for a rest.

this book is incredible! it’s a parenting book based on Boyd’s desire to carry out proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he won’t stray from it.” He pointed out that most people believe this means the typical teaching right and wrong. And while moral training and character training are important he taught me the true meaning and inspiration of the verse. the following is how Boyd says it:

The correct interpertation of Proverbs 22:6 has a radically different meaning. The phrase “in the way he should go” does not refer to some prescribed path that every person should follow. In the Hebrew language, the phrase is better rendered, “according to his way.” And the Hebrew word for way is derek, which literally means “bent” and refers to a unique inner design or direction. Therefore, a more accurate rendering of this verse would be:

Adapt the training of your child so that it is in keeping with his natural design; when he comes to maturity, he will not depart from that pattern of life.

Can we just give a collective sigh of relief? I’ve spent many hours of my life contemplating who God made me to be. I’ve wanted to change my personality many times, I’ve struggled with being too serious, too bossy, too critical, too judgemental, laughing too much, worrying too much, too (you get the idea, the list could go on forever) and while most of that needs to be filtered through the Spirit, my personality isn’t the problem. God designed each of us. The same hands that carved out the mountains and sand, the ocean and and prairie designed each human being in a special way, quirks and all.

The book is a huge relief to me- the part of me that has taken so much responsibility for “how my kids turn out” that I sometimes forget to just enjoy them as God created them. after all, they’re to be a reflection of Him, not myself. what an epiphany moment for me…

I have so much more to say about this book but will stop for now for brevity’s sake. More to follow but I leave you with this quote from the book.

If you want to have a meaningful relationship with your children, you must understand who they are as God designed them. You must lay aside what you want your children to become and spend time getting to know who they already are.

ps. maybe i will fall asleep more quickly tonight now that i’ve gotten some of this out and made a list of what else to blog about. so type a, i am.