tomato staking

  • Posted by Kristy on June 25th, 2008 filed in the fam

100_6700_2.jpgi haven’t read all about it yet and am by no means a tomato staking expert, but i’ve heard of “tomato staking” as a parenting method and begun reading it a little online. here lately, i feel a little out of control as a mom, too much disobedience, too much not doing what told or doing what told not to do. life is just crazy and i find myself complaining about behaviors rather than enjoying our time. so, i decided to give the tomato staking a try. the idea behind it is that the kid is with you, for you to train, teach and discipline, instead of off to fin for themselves and figure out how to pass the time. there’s much controversy over spanking or not, time outs, blah, blah, blah, i’m not here to advocate or squelch any of that but focus on the basic premise of training and expecting obedience. (really, i’m here to show off my pics of my girls helping me prepare dinner.) my first meal prep time with both the girls was monday evening. i was very pleased with abby’s chopping skills. yes, it takes time to show her how and guide her but she did incredible and even liked the meal more than ever because she had helped make it. so she chopped and made a pile of onions, squash and zuchinni and then lilly sat on the counter with my hand on her leg (well, not when i had the camera in hand) and added it all to the skillet of chicken. besides being a little overzealous with the spoonfuls of garlic, she did awesome also. it’s so true that when i’m proactive about telling them what to be doing, their behavior is ten times better than if they are bored and frustrated and trying to make up their own thing to do. now if only i could be consistent. we’re working on it! i don’t want to be overboard with my discipline (yuck, like too much garlic) but  want to expect the right behaviors and attitudes from the girls in a loving way. it’s a hard balance to maintian…100_6697_2.jpg

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5 Responses to “tomato staking”

  1. Ginger Norris Says:
    June 26th, 2008 at 5:40 am

    Your Dad knew about tomato staking! When you and Andy when small we had a discussion once. Keith said something that I never have forgotten. We were talking about spending time with you and Andy. He said, “If we spend time with them while they are little, when they are older they will want to spend time with us.” I laughed and told him that teenagers do not want to spend time with their parents. He told me to just wait and see. And he was right. Even though you both spent time with your friends, you also spent time with Keith and I when you became teens. Keith and Andy spent lots of time at the deer camp and I tormented you on shopping trips by singing along to the oldies on the radio. To me the most important key to parenting is lots of love and you and Mike both excel in that area. You are doing a great job. Just look at my “almost” perfect granddaughters!

    P.S.
    I love the pictures. The girls look like they are seriously soaking up your cooking lesson. I’m glad I have seen the house because I can shut my eyes and just picture them in it. Love to you all.

  2. Sarah W. Says:
    June 26th, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    First my boys stunk up your bathroom yesterday. And today Jacob was having tummy issues… I think my “tomatoes” have salmonella! :)

    I’m so glad to have a friend who knows how to keep it real and who just keeps on trying. You’re inspiring me to keep on keepin’ on when my mommy patience runs low. Your mom, too, with her comment about gaining perspective with the wisdom of passing years. I’m gettin’ a little perspective lately. Love the pictures of your helpers!

  3. Nannaw Austin Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    IF ABBY AND LILLY ARE TOMATO STAKING IN THOSE PICTURES
    I THINK ITS A GREAT IDEA. I HAD NEVER HEARD IT CALLED THAT,
    BUT I MUST HAVE USED THE IDEA SOME ANYWAY. KRISTY, DO
    YOU REMEMBER SITTING ON MY CABINET, STIRRING WHATEVER
    WE WERE MAKING? WE TRIED TO INCLUDE YOU AND ANDY IN
    EVERYTHING WITHOUT TELLING YOU IT WAS WORK. IT WAS REALLY
    ENTERTAINMENT.
    IT REALLY “TOOK” WITH GINGER AND GLORIA TOO BECAUSE THEY
    WERE SUCH GOOD HOUSEKEEPERS AND COOKS. WHEN I WAS PREPARING TO TEACH THEY WERE COOKING AND TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING.
    YOU AND MIKE HAVE ALREADY BEEN STAKING A FEW TOMATOES EVERY DAY AND YOUR GIRLS WILL CONTINUE TO SHOW IT.
    LOVE TO ALL, NANNAW

  4. Grandma Doris Says:
    June 29th, 2008 at 11:13 am

    I’ve never heard it called tomato staking either, but it’s a good idea. Love the way you and Mike interact with Abby and Lilly, even when you displine them They are such well mannered little girls, and so SWEET. And MamMaw Ginger, what to you mean when you say they’re “almost perfect.” THEY ARE PERFECT!!!!! Smile. Love you guys. By the way, Kristy. I found the jar with the note on top, “Kristy was here.” Arie and I both had a good laugh. GM Doris

  5. Grandma Doris Says:
    June 29th, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    Whoops! I do know how to spell discipline.

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